Illness
Crash Course of the Jewish Lifecycle
Unfortunately illness is sometimes a part of life. How do we relate to it? How do we help others? Spend some time in this segment learning the appropriate way of handling illness.
Bikur Cholim
1 Rabbi Ya’akov Trump
Illness & Bikur Cholim
Frequently Asked Shaylos
What are we supposed to think when we are healthy?
The gemara, TB Shabbos 32a, teaches that one should daven that one remains healthy at all times.
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What should the emotional/spiritual response be to illness?
The gemara, TB Shabbos 32a, explains that a person who is sick should view themselves guilty of some misdeed, which requires them to find protection.
What are those protective agencies a person can seek out?
The gemara, TB Shabbos 32a, goes on to explain that the protective agencies that help one are repentance and good deeds.
What should my attitude be to the doctors?
One the one hand, one needs to realize that Hashem provided humanity with wisdom and innovation obliged us to listen to the advice and regimen provided by doctors even though every intervention carries risk. This is clear in TB Bava Kama 85a. It is clear that those who are qualified are seen as agents of Hashem’s will and one must listen to them.
On the other hand, one needs to remember that that their skill and success is in the hands of
2 Rabbi Ya’akov Trump
Hashem. King Asa missed this idea and died in II Divrei Hayamim 16:12
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What am I achieving by visiting the sick?
Visiting the sick is both a mitzva between oneself and Hashem and between oneself and others.
TB Sotah 14a
Mishna Torah, Hilchos Avel 14:1
What must I do in order to fulfil this mitzva?
TB Nedarim 40a tells how Rabbi Akiva visited a sick student and took care of all the physical needs of his ill student.
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3 Rabbi Ya’akov Trump
We see from here that part of visiting the sick includes:
a. Assessing the physical needs they have. b. Praying for their wellbeing.1
Is there a spiritual impact of visiting this sick?
Yes, one does lighten the load of illness. This is true of a person who shares the same zodiac of the ill person. TB Nedarim 39b
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When can I start visiting the sick?
Family and close friends can go immediately but others should wait 3 days before going.2 In general, one should only go if it helps the person and is not a burden upon them.3 If it is a sudden issue, one may go right away.
Can I visit a few times a day?
Yes, as long as it is not a burden on the sick person.4
1 Toras Ha’adam, Shaar Hamichush 6 2 Shulchan Aruch YD 335:1 3 Shulchan Aruch YD 335:8 4 Shulchan Aruch YD 335:2 5 Shulchan Aruch YD 335:4 6 Aruch Hashulchan YD 335:8 7 Aruch Hashulchan YD 335:4
Are there restrictions about what time of day I can visit?
Yes. Outside of hospital/nursing home regulations, ideally, one should not visit in the 1st 3 hours of the day because the person is usually more upbeat, or in the last 3 hours of the day because the person is more down.5 Many are not makpid on this today.6
One should be careful about visiting those who have intestinal issues because of their dignity nor those who have trouble speaking and will be burdened by trying to speak.7
Do I achieve anything by a phone call?
Of course a call is better than no call, but a visit is always better than a call.8
Why don’t I say a bracha on bikur cholim?
There are a few reasons:
a. One doesn’t say a bracha on a mitzva
which one is always obligated in.9 b. One does not say a bracha which is
dependent on another person accepting the favor.10 c. One only says a bracha which is unique to
the Jewish experience not a universal mitzva.11
When I daven for the sick, may I use any language?
In the presence of the patient one may use any language. If not in their presence, one should daven in Hebrew.12
What if I don’t know their full Hebrew name?
If one doesn’t know their full Hebrew name one may still daven for them using their first and last name. In their presence one does not need to use their name to pray for them.13
Can I visit the sick on Shabbos?
8 Igros Moshe YD I:223 9 Ohr Zarua, Hilchos Birkas Hamotzi 140 10 Responsa Rashba I:18 11 Responsa Binyamin Zeev 169 12 Shulchan Aruch YD 335:5 13 Orchos Rabbeinu I:64
4 Rabbi Ya’akov Trump
Yes, as long as it won’t make one terribly and sad and ruin Shabbos.14
Can I daven for the sick on Shabbos?
Yes, but if they are not in mortal danger one should add the phrase: שבת היא מלזעוק.15 If they are in mortal danger, one need not add that phrase.16
Can I visit someone I have a really bad relationship with?
It depends. If one can ask permission and get it, that would be ideal to avoid it seeming like one is gloating. It can be an opportune moment to help make amends.17
What if the person is terminally ill? Do I continue to daven for them?
There are times that a person is suffering terribly and there is no possible recovery, there is room to stop davening for them actively.18 I would suggest that instead of davening for a רפואה שלימה – a full recovery, one changes it to daven for רחמי שמים – mercy from heaven, which can take many different forms.
What is the reward for visiting the sick?
The gemara, TB Nedarim 40a, teaches that the reward in this world is avoiding lust and suffering and in the world to come avoiding certain aspects of suffering.
14 Shulchan Aruch OC 287 15 Shulchan Aruch YD 335:6 16 Shulchan Aruch OC 288:10
17 Aruch Hashulchan YD 335:6 18 Igros Moshe CM II:73:1